Don’t Watch the Watchmen
I have to tell you right off the bat that I never read the Watchmen graphic novels. In order to be successful a movie like this has to be faithful to its written counterpart while being able to engage people like me who never read the original material. If you, like me, have never read the Watchmen novels, then don’t watch the Watchmen movie.
I found this movie to be visually compelling, and, at times, exciting to watch, but overall I would have to say it fails miserably when trying to bring people like me into the Watchmen universe. For instance, I didn’t know the guy that looked like Batman was called “Nightowl” and his ship was supposed to look like an owl until I read a piece in this month’s Wired AFTER I had seen the movie.
The movie actually did a good job of initially setting up the Watchmen universe with an opening montage set to Bob Dylan’s “Times, They Are A Changin’” which was designed to tell the backstory about a world in which costumed superheroes were the norm, and Richard Nixon was president for 3 terms. Ordinarily, I like alternate history flicks - I’m a big fan of playing “what if.” But after what I thought was a brilliant opening, the movie left me dangling, while tossing me back and forth in time willy-nilly in order to fully understand each character’s motivation by having them tell their personal histories, all while attempting to maintain a thread of plot.
Set in 1985, Nixon is still president, but Costumed Superheroes have been made illegal since 1977. I really didn’t understand why they were banned, either. There was a lot of civil unrest, and for some reason I just couldn’t grasp (having not read the novels), why ordinary citizens like you and me just didn’t want to have people with special abilities helping us rid society of the less desirable elements. I don’t know, maybe in this alternate history all ordinary citizens are less desirable, and therefore Superheroes are not wanted.
The plot plods on with Nixon - played by someone who seemed to be made up to look like Craig T. Nelson playing Richard Nixon - on the precipice of plunging the world into a nuclear war. Along the way, we get to see a guy that looks like an x-rated renegade from Blue Man Group who seems to experience time all at once try to figure out how to fit in with all matter in the universe, mostly by hanging out on Mars. I won’t give away the ending, but it does partially redeem the movie. It ended with an unexpected turn that did make me think, and that is a good thing. I just wish it hadn’t taken 2 hours and 43 minutes to get there. In that respect, the whole thing could have been better told as a one hour episode of Heroes.
The other people with whom I went to see Watchmen had all apparently read the graphic novels on which the film is based. They all had a much better opinion of the movie than I, although the movie fell far short of their initial expectations. Before entering the theatre, one of my friends said she thought this was going to be better than the Dark Knight. Nope. Not even close.
Towards the end of the movie, one of the main characters says “My whole life has been a joke.” If only that were true for this movie, it would have been a whole lot more enjoyable for those of us not familiar with the Watchmen universe.
I can’t wait for Mike Nelson’s Rifftrax for this movie. That should be spectacular, and truly make the movie worth watching for those of us unfamiliar with the Watchmen novels.
